You are moving in a shadow that contains an image of yourself.
Step into the light.
What you can recognize are only the few glimpses that you were able to drag into the light. There is always more than the elements that you are aware of. And they are pushing you further and away from the visible track.
So here you are.
But what do you see? What do you hear?
Staring at the computers screen: this are no letters, no words; these are pixels forming together because of electric currencies, creating the illusion of the GUI that helps you managing the information flow ones and zeros that are going through the processor of your computer.
And when you away from the screen, the desk, the walls, all these images, waves of information processed trough the retina heading to the brain; that then creates the colors you suppose to see ‘in the world’; well you are not. your senses make it all up.
And then you look at your hands. They are a part of you. Do you find it appealing, the image you have of yourself?
So: you keep watching. [Brecht lies die Transparente aufziehen; da stand zu lesen:'Glotzt nicht so blöd']
It is the only thing you can perceive: a projection of yourself. on the screen. Lines of memories you relate to, a sketch that becomes a continued idea, an image that reflects yourself.
Now: take a moment. You know who you are, where you are. What you’re looking at, right?
But not quite. It is just something you want/need to relate to. And this is yourself.
Unchain. Become aware. Change the screen – look out of the window. And breath. And eat.
You have a body.
That is to be unchained.
From the mind.
You and the virtual You. What you could be, what you are, what you imagine.
Are you sleeping / awakening?
Are you dreaming about being a butterfly or are you a butterfly dreaming about being you?
Or are you you, dreaming about being you? The other you, of course …
Time. Spaces. Movements in between you and yourself and the world.
You wake up in the middle of the night and have no idea where you are, who you are, why are you there. Well: this is another moment in your life. You are in this moment, trying to connect. With everything, everything you are.
But what is this: you? And then, time is flowing, you find the coordinates, in your body, in your thoughts / ideas / memories / of you. Then you just do something. Interpretations of what you think you are, of what you have been. Ideas of what you want to be.
But all you find is virtual, in your imagination. Well: this is you: thinking, feeling. You find something, someone that may be you.
Well yes; you are, your body is part of the universe. All in atoms. That’s how we see it. Make a move and everything else is affected. Have a thought and the neurons moving in your brain can dance in concordance with everything else; or not. In fact we are always stumbeling, walking is a controlled fall. Our eyes see, our ears hear – what is outside of us. everything is reflected in your brain and therefore in you; in your body. It is like a feedback between your inner and your outer [that is: the world].
It is like having an electric guitar under your hands. The position in relation to the speaker can give you that feedback, sounding beautiful. reverbrations with the air around you and therefore the cosmos. modulating.
your thoughts and therefor your words, your actions can do the same. creating reverbrations between your inner and your outer. that is: a swinging circle between you and the world. In images and in sounds. Always this urge to draw relations …
Everything is has its importance; even the smallest detail – of your thoughts, of your movements, of your words and your actions …
And yes: it is important; for you and for the world …
this is an outline for a live show I am doing next monday in a small venue here in Barcelona. just to see how the things could come together. still working on it, though …
please find more about this here:
there will be a screening with the offline pieces i did during the last year and a live set, the bass / videos / electronics, with new material. still about time, space and identity. i simple cannot let this subject go. there is so much more to find out about …
Show me the one that is not constantly afraid of himself: of his appearance, of his thoughts, of his actions.
The shadow in the dark is also a part, a part of this: this You. Recognize! Accept!
Maybe, some time it helps to wear a wig, that is cheaper, and not so final, as plastic surgery …
You used to have a certain feeling about yourself; something that when listened to tells you who you are, what you want and how to relate to the world.
But what if it suddenly disappears?
The unconcious is the vulnerable sensibilty that comes to you from the stars or from the world.
And that emergence of desire presents the subject with anxiety that has to be crossed.
The Ego and the Self. Not really something what we would call a good relationship. Always in struggle. They will never agree. It’ is their nature. But there is the idea of the ‘what if’ that nurtures the desire. One day the two could become one thing.
Don’t let it bring you down. Enjoy the ride. There is nothing else you can do.
And what about all the lines in between them. Better get them straight.
283CiCiEverything that comes from the ego is a demand. And that the ego as such is incompatible with desire.
-278CiCiAnd there is a kind of threshold of anxiety that has to be crossed for the desire of the subject to emerge.aif
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery – celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from – it’s where you take them to.”
― Jim Jarmusch
Unless you let go of you ego it will never stop. You will always have this critique inside you, your thoughts; your feelings will be molded by en entity you yourself are inventing. And you will never full fill the crazy requests it makes for you: shoulders to the wall.
So better let go. Find out who you really are. Or want to be.
And then go for it. It may not be what you have imagined all the time, but at least it will make you a happier person.