The past consists only in your memory; a persisting version of what had happened that stays with you for the rest of your life. Explanations in your consciousness that fits you. It could have been different but it was not. So make something out of it. This is your job: understanding and fertility. It becomes round in its own way. And yes, it could have been different. But it was not. It makes you. And yes, our mind is constantly bending what has really happened: fit it in; make it round.
-186Death_The casual paste of an event consists of all the events that could have influenced it.aif
When things are not running smoothly and you listen carefully you can hear the scratches in the shadow. Don’t be afraid. Become aware that all this is happening because of the angle in your perspective. It is only your projection upon the things as they are. Adjust to what is there, not what could be. Clear the misunderstandings and everything will be fine.
-276CiCiAnxienty is very much linked to the problem of desire of the other.aif
282CiCiA desire whose horror we fail to recognize.aif
279CiCiAnd that emergence of desire presents the subjects with anxiety that has to be somehow the threshold of anxiety has to be crossed.aif
What happens to us when sleeping is different. Our perception is shut off and everything is coming from within. The images and sounds we are perceiving with our inner eyes and ears follow their own rules. There is no outside, Everything is coming from us. Not inventions but pieces of experiences that have have been recorded into our memory that now are puzzled together again, reflecting the emotional state of the unconscious.
Then we wake up and are not quite sure about what just happened. There is this feeling of a certain something that tells us who we are, what we are too. The one that we don’t know that we know.
This is another capture from a live show. The video I am playing with is not an edit that I have to adjust to as a playback tape. Instead it is composed while playing the bass using a foot switch. So I can decide what I want to play to in what moment.
The sound is a bit rough (it’s live, you know) …
And the contens is that of all BeatMe stuff: persons in a situation that shows their limits, moments of deconstruction and construction of their persona.
Borrowed by Gilles Deleuze et al.
ah, and the bass line is, of course, from “Papa was a rolling stone” by the Tempations …
-257CiCiIt’s not a signal that shows that the ego is in danger. It is a signal that the subject is at the verge of emerging.aif
-119Beck_we are made of those cries or laughings and suggestions that make us but that we don’t know
-102[A8]It is the body in constant change, actualizing multiple forces, movements, times and virtualities, the body in becoming
-054[A1c]The Categories of life are precisey the attitudes of the body
-123Beck_To be is to be perceived
So there is something inside of you, that is trying to find its way out … Something waiting for its moment to surface. It is never opportune. So it sits there, waiting, with all its determination. Causing unnecessary fear.
The good new is: you are not the only one. So better start sharing …
So you cannot sleep… And yes, it is an awful moment, going back and forth while trying to set the coordinates for your life. The good news is that this condition is a fine starting point for getting closer to what you want to be. Change your life.
“Modes of existence, confrontation of this modes and their relationton to an outside on which both the world and the ego depend.”
“It’s not a signal that shows that the ego is in danger. It is a signal that the subject is at the verge of emerging.aif”
As a friend said lately: “la unica cosa que nos salva en estos momentos es la proactividad” … and as i still have some problems with this modern talking … I let Bruce do it for me. He is far better with that than I am … I mean: at least he is chinese having a good background on all this Konfuzius stuff …
-079[A10a1]The daily attitude is what puts the before and after into the body time into the body, the body as a revealer of the deadline
(this is not from Konfuzius, of course, but from Gilles Deleuze. but there may be a kind of connection…)
I had the flew during the last week; I used the time I had to rest for thinking some things over and making a new patch for processing the videos based on their sound. It is now the audio [buffer~] object that drives the images. This is great. You can do all sorts of time & pitch manipulations for the sound and still maintaining the relation for the timing of the images. Big fun I have with these …
This one is quite simple, to find out in what direction all of this is heading … But I am going to add the illuminating & beautiful words in the next versions … to not forget about the context about who you are and why is all that as it is …