Enfrentarse a uno mismo es una obligación infinita.
Que es la origen de esta voz sonando en la cabeza, opinando de los pensamientos? De donde vienen estas imágenes que constantemente nos urgen a contraponer lo que vemos con un ideal externo, una idea que creó en otro lugar, en otro momento?
Si, conocemos bien todos estos espejismos; nos las creamos por necesidad: para relacionarnos, para reconocernos, para explicarnos. Solo aparentan ser exteriores; en realidad son reflejos de posibles sendas que tienen un solo rumbo: acompañarnos en el viaje.


You are moving in a shadow that contains an image of yourself.

Step into the light.

What you can recognize are only the few glimpses that you were able to drag into the light. There is always more than the elements that you are aware of. And they are pushing you further and away from the visible track.


So here you are.
But what do you see? What do you hear?

Staring at the computers screen: this are no letters, no words; these are pixels forming together because of electric currencies, creating the illusion of the GUI that helps you managing the information flow ones and zeros that are going through the processor of your computer.

And when you away from the screen, the desk, the walls, all these images, waves of information processed trough the retina heading to the brain; that then creates the colors you suppose to see ‘in the world’; well you are not. your senses make it all up.

And then you look at your  hands. They are a part of you. Do you find it appealing, the image you have of yourself?
So: you keep watching. [Brecht lies die Transparente aufziehen; da stand zu lesen:’Glotzt nicht so blöd’]

It is the only thing you can perceive: a projection of yourself. on the screen. Lines of memories you relate to, a sketch that becomes a continued idea, an image that reflects yourself.
Now: take a moment. You know who you are, where you are. What you’re looking at, right?
But not quite. It is just something you want/need to relate to. And this is yourself.
Unchain. Become aware. Change the screen – look out of the window. And breath. And eat.
You have a body.
That is to be unchained.

From the mind.

Rutt Bergmann

You and the virtual You. What you could be, what you are, what you imagine.

Are you sleeping / awakening?
Are you dreaming about being a butterfly or are you a butterfly dreaming about being you?
Or are you you, dreaming about being you? The other you, of course …

Time. Spaces. Movements in between you and yourself and the world.
You wake up in the middle of the night and have no idea where you are, who you are, why are you there. Well: this is another moment in your life. You are in this moment, trying to connect. With everything, everything you are.
But what is this: you? And then, time is flowing, you find the coordinates, in your body, in your thoughts / ideas / memories / of you. Then you just do something. Interpretations of what you think you are, of what you have been. Ideas of what you want to be.
But all you find is virtual, in your imagination. Well: this is you: thinking, feeling. You find something, someone that may be you.


Show me the one that is not constantly afraid of himself: of his appearance, of his thoughts, of his actions.
The shadow in the dark is also a part, a part of this: this You. Recognize! Accept!

Maybe, some time it helps to wear a wig, that is cheaper, and not so final, as plastic surgery …


Unless you let go of you ego it will never stop. You will always have this critique inside you, your thoughts; your feelings will be molded by en entity you yourself are inventing. And you will never full fill the crazy requests it makes for you: shoulders to the wall.

So better let go. Find out who you really are. Or want to be.
And then go for it. It may not be what you have imagined all the time, but at least it will make you a happier person.

Making It Round

The past consists only in your memory; a persisting version of what had happened that stays with you for the rest of your life. Explanations in your consciousness that fits you. It could have been different but it was not. So make something out of it. This is your job: understanding and fertility. It becomes round in its own way. And yes, it could have been different. But it was not. It makes you. And yes, our mind is constantly bending what has really happened: fit it in; make it round.

-186Death_The casual paste of an event consists of all the events that could have influenced it.aif

Nothing to Worry

When things are not running smoothly and you listen carefully you can hear the scratches in the shadow. Don’t be afraid. Become aware that all this is happening because of the angle in your perspective. It is only your projection upon the things as they are. Adjust to what is there, not what could be. Clear the misunderstandings and everything will be fine.

-276CiCiAnxienty is very much linked to the problem of desire of the other.aif

282CiCiA desire whose horror we fail to recognize.aif

279CiCiAnd that emergence of desire presents the subjects with anxiety that has to be somehow the threshold of anxiety has to be crossed.aif

You’ll Get Along

A Dreamscape.

What happens to us when sleeping is different. Our perception is shut off and everything is coming from within. The images and sounds we are perceiving with our inner eyes and ears follow their own rules. There is no outside, Everything is coming from us. Not inventions but pieces of experiences that have have been recorded into our memory that now are puzzled together again, reflecting the emotional state of the unconscious.
Then we wake up and are not quite sure about what just happened. There is this feeling of a certain something that tells us who we are, what we are too. The one that we don’t know that we know.

-123Beck_To be is to be perceived

Become Who You Are

This is another capture from a live show. The video I am playing with is not an edit that I have to adjust to as a playback tape. Instead it is composed while playing the bass using a foot switch. So I can decide what I want to play to in what moment.
The sound is a bit rough (it’s live, you know) …

And the contens is that of all BeatMe stuff: persons in a situation that shows their limits, moments of deconstruction and construction of their persona.
Borrowed by Gilles Deleuze et al.

ah, and the bass line is, of course, from “Papa was a rolling stone” by the Tempations …

-257CiCiIt’s not a signal that shows that the ego is in danger. It is a signal that the subject is at the verge of emerging.aif
-119Beck_we are made of those cries or laughings and suggestions that make us but that we don’t know
-102[A8]It is the body in constant change, actualizing multiple forces, movements, times and virtualities, the body in becoming
-054[A1c]The Categories of life are precisey the attitudes of the body
-123Beck_To be is to be perceived